Ten Angry Old White Guys

MSNBC neglected to put up the names of the Republican candidates during their first debate, so I had to struggle to figure out which old white guy was which. To hear 'em speak, they're all Ronald Reagan. Now, I didn't know Ronald Reagan personally, but none of these guys are Ronald Reagan.

My big takeaway from this debate was, if any of these angry old white men are elected (except Congressman Paul), they'll immediately take America to war against Iran.

I also learned that Republicans will win this election on the basis of their BIG ideas. But the only BIG idea I heard tonight was the complete elimination of corporate taxes for firms that stop outsourcing jobs -- as if those companies are paying taxes right now anyhow.

As for Iraq and terrorism, I really had to discount all the aggressive posturing. I mean, these guys were in charge for years and our ports and borders are still unsecured and none of them had a problem with anything Bush did in Iraq until now. These guys -- including Giuliani, Romney and McCain -- were all missing in action on all those issues.

And if these guys are so tough on terrorism, how come the guy who attacked America six years ago isn't pushing up daisies yet? It didn't take us that long to get Hitler and Tojo both!

None of the front runners looked or sounded particularly Presidential. In fact, I was far more impressed with longshots Jim Gilmore and Ron Paul, who are real, honest to God, unreconstructed conservatives -- a rarity in the Republican Party nowadays.

After thinking about it for a while, it hit me that none of the other candidates have any idea who their base is. They were each all over the place trying to please social fundamentalists and independents, the wealthy and the middle class, corporate campaign donors and working folk, other angry white guys and immigrants -- and even Democrats! These guys nuanced their positions so hard they made John Kerry look like George W. Bush. The only thing they sounded sure of was that tax cuts are good and Bill Clinton is bad.

There's no doubt that isolationist Ron Paul was supposed to be the wacko comic relief, like Mike Gravel at the Democratic debate, but after watching the front runners flail tonight I'm not surprised he's beatin' the pants off 'em in the online polls.

All-in-all I'm alarmed by the current Republican field. In previous Presidential elections (well, pre-2004 anyhow) I wasn't particularly worried that the Republican candidate might win -- Reagan, Bush Sr., Dole, even pre-9/11 Bush Jr. -- they were all pretty mainstream. This time, I'm terrified.

tags: republican  debate