Crazies to the Left of Me, Wimps to the Right

Crazies to the Left of Me, Wimps to the Right: How One Side Lost Its Mind and the Other Lost Its Nerve
by Bernard Goldberg

My Auntie picks out gifts based on cool packaging or a clever title. Sometimes it works out good -- she turned me on to Blue Oyster Cult and REO Speedwagon (before they got famous and went all power ballad) -- and sometimes I get stuff like Bernard Goldberg's book.

To be fair, Goldberg's not a raving idiot like Ann Coulter or completely fact averse like Sean Hannity. He'll start out sounding pretty reasonable, but once on a ranting roll the facts get tossed out the window. For example, early on in the book Goldberg starts talking about AIDS and the media and pretty soon he's asserting that white, middle-class heterosexuals can't contract the disease.

Like all of his colleagues, Goldberg rails against the left but never names names. The culprits are always "they" and "them". He blames the amorphous "liberal" media for the degeneration of our culture but never acknowledges the fact that all the media is run by conservative CEOs, marketing execs and board members who give the people what they're willing and happy to pay for -- it's all market-driven.

When liberals say "If you don't like it just change the channel", we're actually schooling you conservatives on free-market capitalism: If nobody watches the degenerate crap on TV, then it won't get funded or aired. Duh.

But worst of all, when Goldberg can't find facts to back up his rants (which is often) he just makes stuff up. For example, going ballistic over how liberals really hate the military no matter what they actually say and do, he writes "The reason they [the San Francisco city council] gave for voting against the [USS Iowa] Museum was their opposition to the war in Iraq and the military's 'don't ask don't tell' policy regarding gays. But we all know those aren't the real reasons." Really? I guess Goldberg's not only a poor journalist but a mind reader as well.

Seriously, Goldberg trots out the old saw, "A conservative, don't forget, is a liberal who's been mugged by reality." Well, if that's true, then conservatives like Goldberg must suffer from post traumatic stress which leaves them incapable of dealing with reality anymore. I guess, after the mugging, confronting reality is just too painful. It's all about feel-good rants and the facts be damned.

The title (which must be the reason my dear old Auntie bought me the book) makes Goldberg sound moderate, like he's bashing both the left and the right. But he mostly bashes the right for not bashing the left hard enough. Where he does criticize the right for real, we find out that Goldberg's actually a libertarian not a conservative. For example, he's for medicinal marijuana and against teaching creationism in schools. I suspect Goldberg would be a lot less bitter and ranty -- and better able to cope with facts -- if he'd just come out of the closet and embrace his libertarianism.

But that would ruin Goldberg's shtick, wouldn't it. How would he make money if he wasn't writing anti-lefty fiction? If this book is any indication of Goldberg's journalistic talent and integrity it's no wonder he's not working in the real news business anymore.

tags: book review  crazies to the left of me  bernard goldberg